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I reflect, I pause, I sit in utter confusion.
What have I done to myself?
Time after time I repeat the same pattern.
Should I expect different outcomes?
That would be ludacrous, would it not?
Yet as I continually expend all of my energy,
My precious spoons...
I wonder where my sanity has gone.
Yes, I do live on coffee and intuition most days, as I am pretty sure my brain has gone on sabbatical. The constant state of adrenalize, then crash, over and over on never-ending repeat. This is my life.
Somehow even though this is a state I have tried to avoid, the exhaustion and burnout, it always seems to creep back into my day to day. And even as I schedule time for me, to catch up and to rest, it never seems to be enough.
This is a cycle a lot of people deal with. Work hard, play hard, and yet somehow forget to schedule some peace into our schedule. And where does it really get us, except for often poor mental health, poor physical health, and then if unchecked, the loss of it.
Society has placed so much value on working as many hours as you can be awake in a day in order to make ends meet. Our social status and whether we keep up with "The Jones'", and what we have for physical possessions is that final determination as to how successful we are. But is it? I challenge you to evaluate your life. Do you have toys, and homes, and cars, and the things that fill them, simply for the sake of having them? Do these items serve a purpose (like a roof over your head)? Do they bring you joy each and every day? Do these things remind you of a place or the person to which they used to belong? Do they have memories attached? Do they make you happy?
Life really is what you make of it. This is a reminder to myself, and I hope to you, to slow down a little. Have experiences. Share time with those you love. Expand your mind. Enjoy time in nature.
The rest will come.
Blessed Be,
S.
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